It was way back in 2003 or 2004 may be, when I got to read the great Sherlock Homes. Those days, I really needed to save the pocket money to buy things like that. The mystery novel. The paint brush etc. And the fat book did cost me quite a lot of bucks.

And I will never forget that i was in complete awe Sherlock Homes – the amazing detective. I recommended the book to all my cousins and most of the friends , and infact gave away the book to my sis, who never completed it I guess. But that was my first love for reading ‘mystery’ novels. Okay, ya, as a strange matter of fact,except for the ‘talking ability’, everything else in my life happened late. Really, my elder sister, who is precisely 1 year 8 months older than me, talked later than I started talking as a  kid.  (Ya, now you know where from I get to talk so much! It’s a default problem since birth) So, ya, while lot of my peers from all over the world might have read the greatest of Shakespeare, Tagore, heavy novels, and more mature stuff like that, I only read Chacha Chaudhary, Champak, and Nancy Drew! But I think that’s alright, as long as I know what I should know at a given time. Knowledge has no horizon, anyways.

So ya, today, I find a free resource where from I can read ‘The Return of Sherlock Homes’ just online! That’s great.  And to Ashwini, I am doing fine, thanks. And to Madhavi, just type ‘online novels’ in Google, and you will find a plethora of online resources. And ya, History is not all that bad. I had liked reading it during my board exams for once! And I am sure the kind of stuff you get to work with, at your workplace, must be much more interesting, given the kind of establishment you are working with. Wish you all the best, my dear sis.

Take care,

Mishti

Well, ya, finally, I have discovered the thing I needed so much. Something to keep my mind engaged, and keep talking in silence, so that I do not need to control the urge to talk to anyone.

Reading online novels

And I am loving this. I have the option to choose the kind of things I like to read. And I will not tell you what kind of novels am I reading. In fact, I dont tell this to anybody. I am great at keeping secrets, specially when they are my own. I still feel I am that kid, that needs some toy or other to keep the active mind active and imaginative in a healthy way. I had almost felt I was losing that kid in me. But now, I am reassured, and I thank God, that the kid is intact. Even though I dont need to wait for anyone to talk to me, I can be happy immersed in the awesome galaxy of books that I have found, online. They are amazing. And will remain my forever friends, who let me remain engaged, and with whom I feel I talk and share with a free will.

Feeling good.

Mishti

Added later:

Ohhhh man! this novel is damn good! And there is a line there “There should be more of us weirdos, you know. We make life interesting” . And as you all know, I am a self-proclaimed weirdo, and I am indeed having a gala time reading this novel. I wont tell the name of the novel, you go find out, if you are really bothered. Ha ha. And well, one nice announcement here: even though my old close friends – who are engaged to get married – and some married too – and some having boyfriends and girlfriends – still claim and let me know that we are the same-old buddies, I know that I am not the same to them. Coz it really does not make sense. So I changed, huh? Oh yes. Very much. Marriage is important to them. Something else is important to me. Get the point there!! And btw, I cannot really express how nice it feels to read such a novel, that I relate to, almost completely! Great. Thank you, dear Almighty.

Well, Remy was and Remy is the lead protagonist in the movie named “Ratatouille”. Remember? Okay, you don’t need to remember. Today, I was lazying around, listening to some soft music, and wanted a picture for my LinkedIn profile. And so Remy came to my mind. I relate to Remy. His picture would perfectly reflect me, and so I uploaded the picture.

And I got little nostalgic too. Why? Well, for no reason actually. Am simply bored. Why? Coz I have stopped thinking. Why? Coz thinking does no good to anybody. It only shakes my mind up, and ignites my urge to talk. That is not necessary, not anymore. I must not talk. So I have stopped thinking. So …. my mind is simply wandering around ….. aimlessly. And I am missing something …. but I don’t know what is that.

Interior designing came to my mind too. I am bored of the mundane room setup in my house. I want a change. I will probably paint some posters. Big posters, may be. I also placed an order for a book in Bangla language, “Bamoner Chandrasparshabhilash“ - lemme see when it arrives. And finally, I paid off all the credit card bills. And the next bill of materials is already ready! ha ha. Btw, I don’t like the new smileys in WordPress now. So, i am not using them. 

Take care,

Mishti

 

I had written a depressing Blog post previous to this one. And I deleted it today morning. Simply coz it is depressing to read it. And the post clearly reflected that I had lost faith in something.

Then, as a daily chore, I receive one “daily quote” from ‘Vivekananda Vedanta Network’  (I have an email subscription to their website, where from I keep receiving updates and quotes). And the quote is as written below:

Do not lose heart, do not lose faith in your Guru,
do not lose faith in God. So long as you possess these three,
nothing can harm you, my child.

~ Letter to Alasinga. From New York, 1895. Complete Works 5.74

In the previous post, I had written “I must do something else …. may be…” , and I know I must do this. Not lose heart.  That’s very easy to say … and tough to do ….

Mishti

The ordeal is finally over. I am thankful to my team and my Manager for the opportunity. Alright. I know, this is not a formal ‘thank you’ note of any form. But I just feel good expressing everything positive that I feel, and that’s exactly the purpose of my Blog afterall. So, ya, today, for the first time in my life so far – I got to eat the lunch in a restaurant of a 5 star Hotel Ashoka – in Chanakyapuri, New Delhi. Courtesy – the central team of the Project I got an opportunity to work with, and hosted by our nice Manager. The dahi wada, and badaam milk were too good, and the rest of the maincourse food was a full great lunch. It was an awesome first experience of mine, to work with the Central team in a Project that scales to a nationwide impact. It was insightful to understand lot of other things that are unique to such large scale Projects.

And then as it goes, when you are one of the Metros of the country, you travel A class, work a lot, you don’t get access to local market where you can buy a comb for 20 bucks and not for 70 odd bucks !! Ya, I bought a comb worth 70 rupees, simply coz I had no time or energy to find a cheaper stuff in a far flung local market. But that’s alright as long as the comb remains harmless to my hair. Phew. Whatever statement was that !!

And then, as I already said, when you are living in a familiar city, you get to spend quality time with the girls gang! Ya, my best of girl friend are here. So you know what I mean. I had great time together with them. Simply great. And I guess this is exactly how I want my life to be like. Consulting that is. And the traveling that comes with that. Even a one time trip to a different city once in a year makes a huge lot of difference, really. And you need to experience it to trust me. Coz, honestly, I cannot express that particular experience in written words.

I shall see you soon.

Cheers !!

Mishti

The twenty four spokes in this chakra wheel represent twenty four virtues:

1. Love
2. Courage
3. Patience
4. Peacefulness
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control
10. Selflessness
11. Self sacrifice
12. Truthfulness
13. Righteousness
14. Justice
15. Mercy
16. Graciousness
17. Humility
18. Empathy
19. Sympathy
20. Supreme knowledge
21. Supreme wisdom
22. Supreme moral
23. Love for all beings
24. Hope, trust, or faith in the goodness of God or nature.

I had forgotten this, that I had learnt in my childhood, so just thought to keep it up at the Blog.

Mishti.

Well. Now that I am staying away from home, on professional grounds, it’s altogether a unique experience. Ofcourse you work atleast 18 hours a day, but then, my company ensures I am treated royally, literally, for the same. Awesome food, great travelling experience and absolutely comfortable living conditions. And trust me, I have never slept so well in the last 6 – 7 years straight. Really. So, yes, a good night’s sleep definitely turns me on the most! :) I really blabbered a lot in my blog about my insomniac tendencies and how deprived of sleep I feel lot of times. And I thank God, finally I got to sleep well. Really well.

About my team here, well, there is a junior team member with whom I have spent most of my lunch times with, who is only junior in age and experience, but is a great Consultant to work with, and a good human being to talk to. Smart. Logical.  Mature in approach and sweet in conduct. Never bogged down by the utmost pressure that is always there on his shoulders. Great positive attitude, and a smiling demeanour even under extreme pressure. An awesome guy in overall.

And then, a colleague cum friend, who is 1 year younger than me, and the girl does drive her car well. It’s fun to be in her car, while she never drives in less than 60 kmph, and we listen to all the peppy numbers that play on the radio. I simply love the way she gracefully changes lanes on the highway in a speed that tends to touch 90 kmph more often, and the way she swiftly changes gears amidst busy traffic while casually chatting with me. She is a great lady, who is married, who cooks at home daily, who drives to-and-fro office, and is a great team mate I must say. Very sensible. Logical. Sweet. And fun to be with.

Then, to work with a Boss, who is a Commander from Army, is a rich experience in itself. His flamboyance, his leadership attitude, his motivational anecdotes, his focused approach, his objective sense of crucial issues, his clear understanding and knowledge of the fundamentals and expressing them at the right time, to the right people; his ability and ways of bringing out the best in each and every team member, and his flexible nature – are few of the attributes that I am lucky to witness at an nascent stage of my professional path. He is a father of 3 daughters, and is sensibly responsive to kids like us as well, who pester him for lot of reasons

Take care,

Mishti

Every decision you make – every decision – is not a decision about what to do. It’s a decision about Who You Are.  When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way.  All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.

~ Neale Donald Walsch

Ah – the hot topic of discussion @ my home front these days is a word I don’t wnat to utter! – ‘marriage’. And it has so many facets, I tell you, it’s really getting interesting now. Initially, I rebelled, I protested, I even contested (giving instances of my ‘more’ happiness against other ‘married peoples’ lesser happiness’), but you know – moms don’t understand the entire thought process of daughters. Hence the same case with my sweet mom too. She even got so sentimental that she actually told me that she would leave me and go away from my life if I don’t agree to get married! Man, that was funny. And bit hilarious, really. My mom can’t live without me, and when she claims such sentimental comments, it really evokes laughter. But well, I am sensitive enough to not laugh in the situation, but rather handle her in a compassionately healthy manner.

So, ya, the green flag is fluttering high. Mom and sis are on a “dulha dhoondo” mission. I told them some criteria, which they think are absolutely senseless and impossible. So they are going by their own criteria and I am very much likely to meet some interesting guys (if they be!) over the next one year, by the time I will need to decide who is the lucky one! Man, this is crazy. I am not in. But ya, I hope to have good time knowing some more new people in my life, and well, if they are as cool as I am, I would be glad being friends with them all my life. Seems like a “friends banaao” mission to me, if nothing else.

Well, about myself, it is clear. It is clear that marriage is not possible. I don’t share any chemistry with any good men. I am not as  sweet, but rather very sour lot of times, at least these days. I have my bad days and good days. I am bluntly straightforward. I am more like a tomboy, who just enjoys to play some music. And that’s it, and that’s all. I just don’t have it in me that rest of the girls have, to make marriage possible. I can be best friends with n number of people, keep their secrets, talk to them when they want to talk, be with them selflessly, and even let them hurt me n number of times. I don’t mind. I get into arguments, I talk a lot, I bother and pester people like an immature lad, I question silly questions that don’t suit me may be, etc. etc., and so, it’s just impossible for anybody to marry me. My mom doesn’t understand this, even though she knows I am little different than rest of the other girls, but she also thinks I am a good girl. Really. And she still thinks I am lovable enough. She doesn’t understand that only she can tolerate me, and nobody else can.  I even told her that I don’t have time to give to a ‘married family’. I go to office, I love my work, so I will continue going office after marriage; I come back from office and play some music, and then I eat my dinner and sleep. Where is the time? Mom feeds me with thoughts of wisdom, and she thinks she would ofcourse get me married to someone who would let me do all that (go to office, and play some music) and yet love me. That is ridiculous. She thinks this is possible. And I totally disagree. No good guy would let me take up so much time just for my own self. No good guy would even imagine that I don’t like to watch TV. No good guy would be patient enough to let me talk much. No good guy would be nice enough to tolerate my tantrums and kiddish behavior most of the times. No good guy would fulfill my silly wishes and little demands of going to an Animation movie by shelling out 200 rupees per head in an AC theatre, or may be just a walk in the park holding hands and eating ice-creams. My mom thinks my guy would do all this, and she tells me she would make sure before my marriage that he does (considers those silly wishes too). So sweet of her, really…..and then I thank God, to give me such a mom, with whom I argue the most, and whom I love the most too. Yes, she tells me, she would ensure before finalizing the guy, that he loves me fulfills my little wishes. How sweet is that? Innocently sweet. And my mom has also said that she will never force me to get married, if I don’t feel like to do so. That’s being most understanding. And this is the reason I guess, God made moms. They love their children selflessly and just want them to be happy.

And then, in this utterly heaty summers, when it’s such a pain to go out of home, walking and taking an auto/taxi/bus, I asked mom’s permission to get our car to my place so that I could use it – as it is anyway not being used much at home. But mom is heavily scared about the fact that I would drive a car in the city roads! And then I think, Why God made moms so worried??  I know how to drive, and people do drive on city roads. I just need the license (which is still pending to be issued, that’s a different case anyway), and the car keys. But mom refuses to handover me the same, simply coz she thinks it is not safe for me to drive on city roads. How I feel sad, that she forgot the day when I took out dad’s scooter when I was just in class IX, and she wondered how did I learn to drive? She also forgot that I have narrated to her my stories of car-driving-lessons-on-Gurgaon-roads when I swiftly drove away Alto all the way around the city. Why do moms not understand ? sob sob……

But well, there is a fair chance of getting to. Buy a car for myself. But that seems to me a distant dream. And I will not buy a car until the end of 2010, reasons later. So, ya, I am soon gonna experience the pathetic Eastern region humid-summers. Today it is 45 degrees in Delhi, and Kolkata situation is worse. It is accompanied by humidity. That’s gross. Really. However, I have my plan in tact. I am going to pursue a thing, a materialistic thing, that’s pretty awesome. And that, and only that, will keep me focussed, and keep me as involved as to avoid any distraction like the heat of the pathetic summers. 

Take care

Mishti

I don’t know. I mean, I am like the kid Joe who considers his friends are special. And treats all of them equally. But when Joe asks a silly thing to one of his friends Sam, with whom he was just building one of Sam’s castles, Sam doesn’t reply to Joe. Sam doesn’t want to tell Joe the answer. Sam is just satisfied that his castle is being built, and gives Joe a feeling that Joe should not talk anything “other than” anything related to “the castle”.

The castle is built. Then what? Joe loves to be with Sam, and just to be with him. But Sam has got other plans. May be some other castles to build, with some other Tom, Dick & Harry may be. But Joe remains confused, and feels shattered. Joe loses faith in friendship. Joe loses any faith in Sam, atleast. Joe moves on. But Joe remains the same. Joe can never become smart. He is that prickly faced ungly boy in school who is sweet, but he is not sweet when Sam acts selfish. Joe become sour. And Joe doesn’t talk to Sam anymore.

The Joe!